The Igmo made me do it…
Medal Of Honor Allied Assault
Street Value: $ 49.99
Well, I finally caved in and bought Medal of Honor Allied Assault yesterday.
I played it…
For about two hours, then promptly sent the following Email to Style.
Subject: Medal of Crap
Holy F_cking Sh_t. What a complete waste of cash!
This game sucks dead rhino dicks uphill through a 10 mile long crazy straw
filled with sewer leaches and razor wire!
Jeezus, I figured with all the hoopla about the good graphics that they had some nifty new rendering engine that would make high definition playable like Unreal Tournament does. Boy, was I ever wrong!
It’s worse than RTCW, it’s even worse than Red Faction. Let’s just create the most detailed maps we can make and use the same ol’ Quake engine to render them so we get the most laggy-ass game play as possible.
Then, lets throw in a bunch of Bot-teammates that get in the way of every shot and won’t take friendly fire so there’s nothing you can do about it. I don’t even think that the graphics are any better than what I’ve seen in good CS maps. The Logitech mouse wheel doesn’t function without a Registry tweak that screws over my other games. You still have crappy player physics and no ability to crouch and jump simultaneously like you can in Half-Life. As a matter of fact, once you crouch, you won’t stand up again until you re-toggle the crouch key or hit the jump button.
I’m thoroughly disgusted, I think I’ll post this as a review on Kiril’s site.
*Gad*
Word to the wise: Wait until this hits the nine dollar clearance rack. On second thought, just take the nine bucks and buy a pizza instead.
PROS
- I didn’t pay full retail for the game
- I bought it on my company account so I can write it off as a tax loss.
- It IS a first person shooter.
- It creates a nifty shortcut to quickly UNINSTALL the game.
CONS
- I bought the game.
- It will not run in a multi-monitor environment
- The mouse wheel won’t always work without a registry tweak.
- The mouse wheel tweak screws up the wheel for Half-Life gaming.
- It suffers from the same rendering problems inherent in the quake engine.
- Player physics are lumpy- no simultaneous jump-crouch maneuvers.
- Navigating the setup menus is quite reminiscent of playing “Myst”.
- Some of the menus do not display labels properly.
- Counterstrike players like it.
- Your squad members will block your shots and steal your frags.
- You cannot kill your squad members (No friendly fire mode).
- You will need at LEAST a Ge-Force 2 or Voodoo 4/5 vidcard, but it will still lag.
- All the stock male multiplayer models have the same face and look stupid (literally do look “stupid”).
- Only one female multiplayer model and she looks like Ellen Degenerous.
- No matter how you slice it, it’s still like team play.
- No Joystick Support
- Summa likes to play it.